I have fallen again! No, not into brokenness or depression. I mean I am in love again. It feels a bit weird, after the mess my last breakup left me in. I didn’t think I had anything left in me to care nor be cared for. Mon amour is a petite chocolatey beauty, with a nose as big as her heart, slender legs, and enchanting eyes. Her eyes are always covered with glasses, which gives her a nerdy cute look. If you know me well, you will understand a part of my heart is fond of girls that wear glasses. They are so adorable.
The first time, I held her hand and walked her home; it felt like being connected again to a soul I have known since birth. The next morning, we went for a casual walk on the fields, with the sun beaming mildly at us. Not many words were said by our mouth, maybe we understood each other perfectly not to disturb our mutual reflection of the things we went through to find ourselves and the beautiful times to come. In the silence of our mouths, our hearts were in communication occupied by the thoughts of the precious gift we have become to one another. We sat on a bench by the field. She rested her head on my chest. She smelled the flowers, and I watched her intently as she admired nature in its beauty. It was glorious seeing her do so, that is another thing about her everything about her is so natural; nothing artificial.
We had breakfast of her favourite fried rice and chicken at a beautiful little place adorned with lights. We kept on staring at each other and having little discussions. We went to the store nearby to get ice cream. I teased her about how her nose looked like the ice cream cone and she let out a gracious smile, a kind of smile, I was ready to watch till eternity. She kissed me and pressed her nose against mine. Our height difference was noticeable. I am six feet two and she is five feet four but we make ourselves whole. Other customers in the store smiled at us and fixed their gaze upon us. They probably understand love. It was obvious from the way we smiled and looked at each other that I love her more than anyone else I had ever loved.
She is not interested in mundane things like business, politics, religion, war, so we hardly argue. She is only interested in her studies in medical school, my happiness, and her God. She prefers we do pillow fight, pray together and laugh heartily than talking about visa ban, gay rights, ISIS and China trade deals. We watch television together, especially football and wildlife. At night, she lays her head on my laps, and I read poems by Ola to her and short stories.
I am worried that I spend most time away working and delivering public lectures, and she can’t be with me. The popular saying that ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ is not really for me. I have a passport picture of her stuck in my wallet and her picture with her bright smile on my desk as a painful reminder of what I am missing. Looking at it gives me the motivation to overcome the hurdles that come with my work and my muse in preparing my lectures. Honestly, I can’t wait to get back into her arms.
I always show her pictures to my colleagues and friends. They give me a wry smile and maybe think I am just obsessed. I know they envy my precious gift because not many of them can say that they have felt what true love is about. Most persons feel that it won’t last, that we will soon get bored with each other and get angry over little things. They feel that our love may soon turn to hate. Others tell me, that she will soon fall for someone who is more financially stable or finer than I am. I give no thoughts to such ideas, as I don’t want them to distract our present bliss. I am a highly flawed person, and it was unbelievable that someone will love me, despite my flaws, and the mess I was from my previous relationship. Honestly, my last relationship left me in a bad state that I have given up on love. My self-esteem was affected by the breakup, and I doubted my self-worth, but mon amour came along like a guardian angel, she taught me to believe in myself and learn how to love again. Let us enjoy the good time, without worrying about the unpredictability of tomorrow.
Her name is Jacinda, which I know sounds pretty cool. Her name means beautiful, and it describes her just well. You need to see her smile, to understand that her name is the perfect way to describe her. She makes me feel alive again. I will never let her go and I pray she will be my last.